now i know why i became what i already was.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
