And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
