I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
we made out on top of his cat.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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