YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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