I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
