paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I wear drunk well.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
