I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
