this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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