well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
