Im at strip club and am horny
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
