I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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