Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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