ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
