Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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