So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
