It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
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I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
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hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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