they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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