did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
