And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
