My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
