like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize