no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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