I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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