his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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