can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We left an ass print on the piano.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
