So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
