Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
