I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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