Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
FUCK WHALES
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
