One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
