I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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