My friends, they love my intelligence
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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