just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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