i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
