How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize