NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
