I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
