I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
