and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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