Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
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