My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
