We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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