do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
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There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
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I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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