If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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