My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
whose parrot is this?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
