Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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