I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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