Fine. I'll sleep in my office
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.