Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
the evidence from last night is not good...
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me