I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I want you more than these girls want KFC
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
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oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
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One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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