Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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