Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
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I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
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It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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