i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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