i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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