She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
