hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
