listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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