Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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